the phoenix, she dies with her wings burning,
she sinks from the sky to the earth returning,
but she will rise through ashes singing,
with new wisdom she flies to a new beginning.
Family has always been at the center of my life. I grew up in Fremont, California with my three siblings, two brothers and one sister. My parents both immigrated to the United States at a young age, my father when he was 10 and my mother when she was 17. They did everything they could to support us and teach us to be thoughtful and compassionate people. You could say that my family is loud, loving, and always entertaining. We celebrate Tet, the Vietnamese New Year, every year at our grandparents’ house with over 50 (or however many go) of our other relatives. Every year I leave with ringing ears, cheeks swollen from pinches from my aunts and uncles, and a belly still rumbling from enormous portions of pho, banh xeo, and spring rolls (just to name a few). Most of my best childhood memories took place at large family events such as these. Once, when my two cousins, older sister, and I decided we could become famous superstars by lip-syncing Britney Spears, our oldest uncle, Bac Cuong, let us perform at his son’s wedding. Shortly after this picture was taken, I tripped on the microphone cable, and provided some of the best entertainment that night.
With my whole family spread throughout the Bay Area, my grandparents on my father’s side and my grandma made sure we gathered twice a month in San Francisco. My father’s parents owned a large amount of property in South Vietnam near Saigon. During the Vietnam War they hosted a U.S. army base in one of their buildings. They were fierce business leaders and were respected by many. When the war escalated, and the country was no longer safe, my grandpa was able to bring fourteen children and his wife to the U.S. while leaving behind their home, their land, their business, and two grown daughters (whom they have never heard from since). Though they initially struggled acclimating to the U.S., my grandpa experienced a great deal of success in the restaurant business, operating a Vietnamese-American fusion restaurant on Haight Street in San Francisco. There, my father and his siblings helped in the kitchen, and my father was able to pursue a higher education at San Francisco State University, where my parents met 1989.
My mother has a quite different story. At the age of 10, she was separated from her family and left behind in Vietnam to live with her aunts. When many escaped from Vietnam, families had to combine their money to plan an escape. In order for the escape to be successful however, my mother had to be left with the other family and the other family’s eldest son was left with my mother’s family. This way, the families would not escape without one another. When my mother’s family successfully made it to the boat that was traveling to find refuge, the police came and my mother’s family had no choice but to leave, as they had two young daughters with them, and the choice was to either leave my mother behind or die. My mother spent 6 years without her family in Vietnam, before they were able to find compile the proper documentation, save enough money, and find an American family to sponsor her over.
The pain I have seen in both my parents differ, but shape the ways in which they have raised me.
My father is the hardest working person I know. As a kid, I would wake up every morning at 5:30 A.M. to catch my dad in the bathroom. It was a special time in the day when I could spend some alone time with him and ask him the same question, “When are you coming home?” To which he would reply, “6:30 P.M.” My parents often found me passed out on the carpet outside the bathroom. As an engineer, he works to maintain large machines that create chips for solar products. But upward mobility in the company has proven difficult, and he has had to work two jobs to support our family.
My mom did an incredible job raising us, and made sure we knew how much we were loved and the importance of loving others. As a preschool teacher at a local private school in Fremont, she was able to send us there for a few years before we moved to a better area with a renowned public school system. On Saturdays, we would drive up to the mountains and play with acorns, as she took us around the temple and told us about the philosophy of Buddha. She dragged us to Vietnamese school every Sunday too, and waited for us by the candy counter where we would be rewarded after a long day of class. Her selflessness and unconditional love is something I admire, and something that definitely took time to truly appreciate.
As I grew older, love to me meant worrying about my family’s well being. I quickly learned the importance of money and I realized that if my family had more, my dad could work less, my mom wouldn’t be as stressed, and I wouldn’t have to worry. Understanding this, I went in to college with the intention of going into business and pursuing a career that would allow me to provide for my family and myself.
When I started applying to college, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted to study business as an undergrad, and eventually work at a Silicon Valley company where I would earn a large income to pay off my student loans and help my family out. I had seen my sister accomplish that goal, by working at Salesforce while pursuing a joint JD/MBA degree, and I knew that with her guidance, and my parents’ support, I would become successful as well.
During my first year, I applied to be a marketing intern at the Office of Marketing and Communications on campus. The opportunity at OMC allowed me to grow as a photographer, and somewhat of a marketing connoisseur. I filmed b-roll for videos, took pictures of numerous campus events and helped managed many of the school’s social media accounts. I felt like my talents were appreciated and I found a community of people that supported my work and endeavors. I enjoyed this work, but often times wanted more creative freedom as my work was confined to representing Santa Clara.
Last summer, I landed a finance internship for a large technology corporation during my sophomore year. I spent forty hours a week working on Excel spreadsheets, I enjoyed making what seemed to be like a lot of money, but I was left uninspired by the work our department was creating, and could not imagine doing that kind of work for the rest of my life. I wanted something more.
I went home and talked to my parents about my unhappiness. I thought that they would be disappointed in me if I did not continue my internship, but instead, they suggested that I do something more fulfilling. They assured me that it wasn’t my purpose to worry for them as much as I thought I needed to.
This was a huge turning point in my life. After much self-reflection, I left my internship in pursuit of finding what makes me truly happy.
When I came back to SCU for my junior year, I was ready to figure out what my passion in life was. I enrolled in introductory public health science and sociology courses to broaden my thinking. In these classes, I came to understand the injustices faced by so many and the privileges I have. Though many struggles resonated with my family, I realized how fortunate I was to attend college, to have a loving family, and to have a supportive community of people with expectations of me thriving. I realized after these courses and through many thought-provoking conversations with my parents and friends that I wanted to be apart of something bigger than myself; that I wanted to be a part of creating positive change for the world.
I was inspired to apply for an immersion trip my junior year winter break. After being selected for the New Orleans trip, I called my mother full of excitement. She left me with wise words, “Clarissa, you need to understand this trip is not about you, it is about others.” she was right. During the seven-day journey, we stayed a community center, ate simple meals with the homeless, visited a Public Defender office, worked on homes with the St. Bernard’s Project, and engaged with the local community to learn about the devastation of Hurricane Katrina. It was a shock to the system to realize how blind I was to the unjust criminal system in the U.S., and specifically in Louisiana. I learned that during the hurricane, the prisoners were left in the prison with cells flooding with water, without prior knowledge of the hurricane. They were treated as less than human, and when the public defender told us of the criminal justice system in New Orleans, I realized that I yearned to talk about my work as passionately and whole-heartedly as he.
There was a beautiful moment I shared with Trenise, a woman we were building a home for, and she told me about her adopted son who has bipolar disorder and autism. We shared a moment so pure, in which we shared stories about our families and our lives, and both ended up in tears and laughter. Being able to listen to her story and help her move into her new home was such an incredible moment for me, and I knew that listening to others and doing something impactful was what I needed to do. It was what made my heart flutter.
The fellowship and the field of social entrepreneurship allow me to transcend what I thought success meant and live according to my own understanding of it. Being a GSBF represents my grandparents and parents’ sacrifices to come to this country to create a better life for themselves and their children. It fuses my passion for people and business, and allows me to practice my business skills and knowledge to create social change. I am now inspired by the work I will be doing, and the people I will get to know. I am so grateful for this opportunity and I cannot wait for what lays ahead.
and with new wisdom, she flies to a new beginning
