My Message to You

“What do you do?” – ah, the common introductory question asked by typical Americans in the US.  If you grew up in North America, or have even worked here for a few years, then you understand the American value in financial success through participation in the working world. You understand that your identity and worth is embedded in your job status. You are your job status. 

But what makes our lives slightly more complicated, is that on top of the pressure we receive to work longer, harder, and smarter to achieve a higher career status, there comes a point in our lives where another social pressure comes into play – parenting. Of course starting a family is not for everyone, as plenty of people live quality lives without a spouse and/or children, but the pressure to start a family compounds on the pressure to be successful in the working world. Unfortunately, we live in an American society that makes it difficult for both parents to have a successful family life as well as a successful work life. We refer to it as “balancing” both these lives, as if they are completely separate from each other. What if we lived in a world where we didn’t have to choose between being a good parent and advancing our career?

Think about your family life right now (your parenting dynamic between you and your spouse, or how your parents raised you). Has one partner had to give up or retract from their career ambitions to raise your child? Has the other felt pressure to focus primarily on their career ambitions to “support the family”? Which partner’s labor is valued more? These are questions that we often avoid asking. We don’t question normalized roles. In a heterosexual relationship, it is expected that the mother’s duty is to take care of the kids, while the father’s duty it to take up the breadwinner role. These unequal expectations for a couple may help the family overall “balance” work and family life, but there are seriously harmful implications of separating the two responsibilities. Think about the stress working fathers face whose worth is embedded in their career and financial status, and feel immense pressure to excel in the workforce while being criticized for bad parenting in their homes. Now think about how much worse it is for stay-at-home mothers who’s parenting labor goes completely unpaid, lasts all day (their days are longer than 9-to-5), and have little to no financial power over their families. Think about how harmful it is to separate work life from family life by assigning each life to a single partner. How can the workplace structure itself so we can be both quality parents and successful workers? I am here to explain to you how paid leave is the answer.