I have always told people that I want to become a doctor. But it wasn’t until I got back from Myanmar that I realized being a physician –a healer –isn’t just what I want to do, it’s what I need to do. My vocation is my calling.

Omnipresent Lightning

My friends and I have a motto: “the women of Silicon Valley aren’t screwing around.” Yet, this summer, surrounded by some of the most ambitious people from all over the planet, I had the honor to observe the infinite paths and lifestyles that one’s passions may lead to. From the Myanmar mothers who sacrifice everything for the good of their babies to Mike Lwin, CEO of KKT, I quickly realized a spark in the eyes of most everybody I met, a spark that spoke to the lightning driving these people into a fulfilling future.

I talked about the beautiful people of Myanmar I met in my previous post, but here I want to recognize the men and women involved in the social entrepreneurship workplace, what I learned from them, and how this has influenced where I want to go. Immersing myself in the world of social entrepreneurship by consulting for KKT and witnessing daily the inner workings of the office, I came to appreciate the power of vocation with an emphasis in entrepreneurial thinking. Mike and the rest of KKT use their endless stores of energy and ambition to attack the seemingly impossible dream of disrupting the social equilibrium of Myanmar’s health systems via technology. This is their calling.

Having completed the fellowship, I now have a concrete definition for the conviction I have felt all along: if you have committed your life to bettering the world, if your very soul is anchored to the idea of positively affecting the lives of others, you can’t help but thirst for the tantalizing possibility that the world can, in fact, be affected through you. This is the lightning I found in others, and have now defined in myself.

I believe the manifestation of this lightning is inherently portrayed in social entrepreneurial thinking. This line of thinking requires one to recognize and take advantage of the opportunities around them to achieve the goal of social justice. This mindset asks of us consistent dedication to our callings, and therefore sources its energy from our souls. If our passion is at the forefront of our vocational mission, then we will never tire of finding new opportunities for change and world betterment, because our lifeline is so inherently dependent on our lightning.

Rediscovering My Lightning

Witnessing the systematic change resulting from the synergy between public health, technology, economics, and law was astonishing. This summer, the women and clinicians enthusiastically explained how KKT intuitively provided users with the agency to make better judgments, alter unhealthy behaviors, and access greater sources of medical care. I was impressed at the innovation which resulted from utilizing the already-present avenue of the smartphone and saw, firsthand, the possibilities personal technologies have in the future of public health and medicine.

Mike and his team work tirelessly to keep growing the social impact of KKT. However, at the beginning of the summer, I would look at Mike and think wow, I could never do that…I’m not capable of such ambition. I admired the goals of KKT, but became anxious that I did not foresee myself headed where Mike was. Social entrepreneurship dominated and overwhelmed my thoughts. It seemed to be the best and only answer to the world’s most pertinent problems, which led me to despair that I lacked aptitude and passion for what Mike was doing.  

Taken up in the fervor of enacting social justice through social entrepreneurship, part of me resolved to delay my path to medical school. After all, I am a college undergrad who has already had the honor of participating in social change in a magnificent way beyond the imagination of many. By observing, I had intentionally begun employing an entrepreneurial mindset in every area of my life. It made sense to continue with the momentum I had gathered. Mike had found the answer (social entrepreneurship), so I should follow suit. As such, I began applying for the Fulbright Scholarship upon my return from Myanmar.

I had a mission statement I was passionate about, the ideas to follow through, and my experience in GSBF. It was perfect: the daughter of Sri Lankan immigrants who fled a war-torn country now going back to help improve said country’s healthcare system. However, halfway through the process I found myself stressed, anxious, and distressed.

Why did I feel this way if I was pursuing the most logical next step? I soon discovered that it wasn’t what I should be doing, not yet at least.

One night before bed, I read Psalm 37:23: “If the Lord delights in [one’s] way, He will make [their] steps firm. Though [they stumble], [they] will not fall, for the Lord upholds [them] with His hand.” In the margins of my Bible, I had once written: “become a doctor.” That is when I remembered my adamant desire to go to medical school, to become a healer and work closely with individuals on a very personal level. My steps are secure because I know my desires are aligned with what the Lord has called me to. I then understood that when I felt anxious about spending a year abroad as a Fulbright Scholar, my soul was telling me to take a second look: I was distressed, but because my feet weren’t following my calling.

Instead of fixating on the obvious power and impact of social entrepreneurship, I recalled this summer’s action research and numerous interviews and interactions. I realized that I did not see myself fulfilling Mike’s role because that was not my role to fill. The Fulbright had distressed me because it wasn’t where I was to go at this time. My passion lies with social engagement at the personal level, ultimately through the avenue of medicine.  

The Last Stop

Like I mentioned in my previous post, I absolutely loved getting to know the people we interviewed and hearing their unique stories. It took a certain entrepreneurial approach (the power of a baby) to effectively connect with our interviewees, and my confidence grew as I began to understand more of who I am and how I can use my strengths and background to interact with new cultures, people, and environments. I realized that as a physician I will need to learn all I can about medicine, but no textbook can teach me how to heal another soul or how to use my gifts to affect change in the lives of other individuals. It takes, dare I say, unpredictable and profound experiences to shift one’s mindset to that of an entrepreneur.

Working through the Fulbright application was essential for processing what had taken place over the summer. However, my fervor and excitement for social entrepreneurship momentarily distracted me from my calling to medicine. This summer was imperative to helping me make a resounding step towards my Medical Degree and changing the way I carry myself. I now see that the personal growth in the areas of confidence and determination I obtained over the summer will directly correlate to success in my medical studies and career as a physician.

So, instead of applying to the Fulbright, though I still intend to return to my homeland one day, I have been tirelessly and adamantly studying for the MCAT and am pursuing a cancer research position for my gap year before medical school. For now, I’ve decided to focus all my energies on becoming a doctor. Nevertheless, if GSBF has taught me anything, it’s that there is so much to be done in this world and there is so much I can do with the skills and life experiences God gave me. Besides, after I’m a physician, the world is my proverbial oyster, and I know God will help me discern where I should go and how to use my Medical Degree in conjunction with my newly discovered entrepreneurial mindset.

I can say without a doubt that becoming a physician is my calling in life, because when I say that, my soul rejoices and the lightning strikes.