On January 20th, 2018, I went to the Women’s March in downtown San Jose. The minute I got to school where ACM -W (Association for Computing Machinery -Women division) was gathering before the march, I felt a sense of dread. I knew two people out of about fifteen people. We all went to the bus together, and I got separated from the herd of freshmen girls. Instead, I was struck by the door when it opened because there was no space to back-up.
This is the worst, I thought. I texted my mom, “I want to go home. I’m not even kidding.” I felt lonely and uncomfortable and embarrassed. The other girls, for the most part, new each other because everyone lived in the dorms.
The march began. I conveniently planted myself next to one of the people I knew, and I continued the conversation in hopes that I wouldn’t be left behind. Gradually, I talked with the other girls in the club while we walked. We bonded over movies and commenting on interesting or funny posters as we marched.
By the end of the event, I felt like I had made new friends. We looked out for each other and made sure members of the group didn’t stray or get lost. It was this sense of camaraderie that made this event meaningful.
In addition to the outward and obvious insecurities I had, there were also internal ones. Do I have what it takes to be an engineer? I’ve never taken physics before, I’m only okay with math, and coen feels repetitive. Lately, I’ve been questioning whether I really can make it as an engineer. But being at the march reinvigorated me. Here all these people around me, marching for the same cause and celebrating the accomplishments of women. People stopped our group and complimented our “STEMINIST” signs. If all these women around me can make it, so can I.
