My childhood was filled with books. Anything I could get my hands on, I would read. I’d spend hours behind the couch reading Eragon or Harry Potter while my friends played outside. As I grew older, I replaced books with tv. It’s not that I don’t like books anymore, it’s just that watching tv is a lot easier and numbing than reading is.
My experience with tv is similar to Junot Diaz’s. The tv was and is my coping mechanism. I had intense anxiety in high school, but my perfectionism forced me to exude false confidence that left me exhausted by the end of the day. In between tennis practice, tennis games, studying, and clubs I had no time to just sit down and read a book, the only true stress reliever I had. Instead, I turned to watching tv. It was comforting to slip into another world without having to use even more energy that I didn’t have.
The problem with tv is that it causes unproductivity and disillusionment. Junot Diaz’s disillusionment stems from a belief that his father is a superhero, and my disillusionment stems from high school drama shows that focus 95% on drama and 5% high school. Tv is too easy an alternative to facing the real problems in life. In Junot Diaz’s case, it is justified, because he was only a child, but adults cannot rely on tv. In my case, tv was an unhealthy way for me to justify skipping a lap during practice or studying for thirty minutes less to watch the last part of an episode. If these rich girls had it so easy, why can’t I? Why can’t I get accepted to Brown with minimal effort and date hottest guy in school?
Senior year was my equivalent to Diaz’s father, the catalyst of reality. Just like Diaz’s abusive father was nowhere close to the hero he had imagined him to be, my senior year was full of missed landmarks and friends that couldn’t really be called friends. I think my heightened disappointment about missing school dances and being flaked on by friends was due to my expectations set by tv shows.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned from television is that Blair will never come and save my day, Mindy Kaling is not offering me personal sage advice, and Jessica Day is not my best friend. My point is, I have to fix things for myself. I can’t keep relying on this false reality in hopes that my feelings of misery and stress will disappear. No, I have to face my hardships head on and only then will things get better.
