Your Story

Posted on September 26, 2017 by j1velasco

In the age of social media I see people sending pictures, leaving brief comments on the news, and sharing great amounts of information created by corporations and networks. I also enjoy the abundance of data that is always available through a simple click on my phone, but I worry that we do not balance our consumption of stories with the ability to create and share our own stories.  Do you devote more time to consuming or creating? Do you ever share your story? Do you reflect on the truth encapsulated within your own experience?

Consumption or Creation?

As you move through your daily life, become aware of the way you can transform the consumption of stories into the creation of your own story. By cultivating your creativity and storytelling abilities, by writing and sharing, you will be able to empower yourself, and become less dependent on the overload of information created by corporations and media networks. Your inner and outer sense of freedom depends on your ability to make sense of the truth within yourself. To practice your ability to tell your story, try this exercise:

  1. Breath in and out, and notice the difference between “knowledge” (what you were taught by others) and “knowing” (what you learned by living your life).
  2. Evaluate whether or not you feel ready to share your story. Open the heart to the possibility of coming out with a secret to somebody, maybe even your best friend.
  3.  Breathe in deeply, breath out slowly. Look for the reaction inside of you as you become yourself in a place of safety and compassion.
  4. Without repressing anything, with openness and clarity, allow your story to be out there in the sun, finally not hiding from yourself or others. Let the wisdom of your story flourish out in the open, like a flower finally opening its petals to the sun.

Juan Velasco

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What Should I Do Now?

Posted on September 23, 2017 by writeherewritenow

Each spring at Santa Clara University students have to meet with their faculty advisors to review requirements and plan their courses for the year ahead.

One day in May, Ellen, a graduating senior, shyly knocked at my office door, asking for an advising appointment.  “But you’re graduating in a few days,” I said, “You don’t need to come in for advising.”

“Oh, but I do,” she said, sinking down into the chair by the window. “What should I do   now?”

“It depends on your goals, on what you want to do.”

“Well, what would you do?” she asked, her voice shaky.

“I applied to graduate school at UCLA to get my Ph.D. and become an English professor. But that was my answer, not yours. What do you want?”

Ellen looked puzzled. Focusing on externals all her life, she’d been living up to her parents’ expectations, then her professors’, fulfilling the requirements, following all the rules. Now she stood on the edge of possibility. Absolutely clueless and petrified, she didn’t know what to do.

Ellen is not alone. Lots of us become confused in times of transition—finishing school, completing a big project, ending a relationship, changing careers, or approaching retirement. Last spring, in his fifth and final year on phased retirement, my colleague Phil suddenly panicked. Decades of college teaching had defined his life. Now he was at a loss. Anxious and clueless, he asked, “What will I do now?”

If this sounds familiar, take a few moments to get back in touch with your own inner compass.

Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath,
And focus your attention
Somewhere deep beneath the surface,
Beneath your family’s expectations,
Your teachers’,
Your employer’s,
Your culture’s,
Until you find it there
Shining like a hidden vein of gold.

It may be faint at first,
Only a brief glimmer. . .
But take your time.
And you will find it.

As you open your eyes and go about your day,
Keep listening to your feelings.
Follow your heart
And in good time
You will find the treasure within you
Your own inner guidance.

You will know what to do now.

 

Namaste,

Diane

(compass photo from Wikimedia Commons,
Creative Commons Zero 1.0 License.)

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The World as your Self

Posted on September 15, 2017 by j1velasco

I often think about the struggles my students go through, the challenges I face in my profession or the little problems I face in my life. I also struggle sometimes to see how  those moments of taking care of my daily life are really helping this world—I wonder if what I am doing on a daily basis is the kind of service the world needs in this moment. How do we bridge that gap between taking care of things in our lives and the service we want to give to this world?

A famous Zen teaching states that “whether you are going or staying or sitting or lying down, the whole world is your own self.” In many spiritual wisdom traditions  the answer is clear: the gap is only in your mind since there is no separation between self and the world.

The work of service starts with loving the smallest details of your own life and seeing no separation with the world since this is also “your self.” On the other hand, when you are helping this planet, your community or your co-workers, you are also taking care of yourself.

Try this meditation if you feel a gap between your self and the world:

  1. Moment by moment love is action. Breath in and out, and visualize yourself performing every action in the spirit of service, whether you are helping your family, your community or the whole planet, notice “love” is what you do.
  2.  Moment by moment the heart opens.  Open the heart to every moment. Go beyond likes and dislikes.   Notice your heart opening to the world. Keep a mind so filled with love, it resembles space.
  3. Clear and open, just do it. Without separation, in the spirit of service and love, moment by moment, just do what you need to do. Don’t overthink it, let the heart become pure action.

Juan Velasco

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The Gift of Community

Posted on September 4, 2017 by writeherewritenow

In America we prize individualism, valuing our self-reliance.  And perhaps some of us grew up in dysfunctional families so we didn’t learn to trust, felt we had to be strong and had to do everything ourselves. But as I learned years ago on an Italian train, individualism can take us only so far on our life’s journey.

When I boarded the train in Genoa that morning there were five people in our compartment, two rows facing each other, our bags in the overhead racks. As the train rolled through the Italian countryside, we pretty much kept to ourselves, reading our books and newspapers, occasionally dozing off as the hours went by. It was past noon when we learned that the dining car had failed to connect and there would be no meal until we reached Rome that evening.

Then something surprising happened. A French gentleman took out a long loaf of bread from his bag. A German woman took out a jar of strawberry jam that sparked like rubies in the sun. I pulled out a round of Swiss cheese and my pocket knife. A British woman and her daughter took out a box of chocolates.

What had been five frustrated, hungry individuals became a community. We enjoyed the crusty baguette complemented by the mild, buttery cheese and the sweet strawberry jam. Passing around the box of chocolates, we began sharing our stories of where we’d come from and where we were going. Our impromptu picnic remains one of the highlights of my journey.

In the miracle of the loaves and fishes, the Bible tells how Jesus fed the multitudes from a basket containing only five small loaves and two fish.

Imagine what miracles could occur today if we could only begin to transcend the walls of fear and mistrust that separate us. By combining our individual resources, the parts that make up the larger whole, we could solve untold problems by creating new circles of community.

Take a few moments now to reflect.

  • Close your eyes and think of a time you experienced your own sense of community.
  • What did it look like and feel like?
  • Breathe in that vision with a sense of gratitude.
  • Then in a long, slow out breath, send your gratitude out to the world.

If you like, take some time to write down what this community experience means to you.

Namaste,

Diane

(photo credit: By Father.Jack from Coventry, UK – bacon, turkey and swiss cheese baguetteUploaded by Fæ, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=24935910)

 

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Reach Out to Joy

Posted on August 31, 2017 by j1velasco

I was exhausted at the beginning of the summer. After multiple deadlines and the completion of different projects I felt tired, unfocused, depleted.

How do we return to our best selves when exhaustion settles in? Who are the friends that make you feel alive again? What are the stories that inspire you? How do you reclaim your passion and joy  before you can pass it forward to others?

After a few days of being open to those questions, I was struck by the realization that we are never separate. A life given to others, planted like a seed of love and compassion, requires also to be nurtured, requires to reconnect with the activities and the creativity that empowers you, that gives you back your passion, joy and hope. In fact, the stories and people, friends and community, that give you joy and hope, live through us. Who are those people and the stories that breathe life into you? Try this meditation:

1. Take a few minutes and bring the awareness to your breathing. Acknowledge the emotions of this moment, paying attention to the people and communities that trigger positive emotions.

2. During your mindful breathing, acknowledge the situations that bring you back to your original nature, to peace and joy.

3.  Slowly reclaim the joy that comes by embracing the people, the thoughts and situations that empower you and help you to be in the present moment.

4. End by writing a list of positive and nurturing thoughts, people and situations that help you to reclaim your joy. Envision those nurturing outlets as a solution you might reach out to moment by moment in your daily life.

Juan

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Something to Prove

Posted on June 23, 2017 by j1velasco

A friend of mine went into retirement after a successful career in business, but when I met him again he was reluctant to celebrate. I was moved because even though he was being celebrated for his career, I could still see self-doubt in his face. He told me that for all these years he was always trying to prove something to himself and others. After a deeper conversation, he admitted that his proving something was about self-acceptance and love.

Lotus Flower

I wonder how many times we take jobs (and choose our professions) driven by the feeling that we have something to prove rather than engaging in our work out of joy and vocation. Do you have something to prove? Is it time to embrace self-acceptance and love, and let your activities be the result of your desire to contribute to your and the world’s happiness?

Try this meditation:

1. Take a few minutes to breathe and acknowledge your state of being in this moment. Pay especial attention to the feelings that relate to how you regard your life and your work.

2. During meditation, acknowledge the reason why you do things, the situations that trigger you to please others, the moments of panic that give you a sense of living an empty life.

3.  Slowly reclaim the self-compassion that comes when you choose to let your actions be guided by contributing to life rather than pleasing others. Embrace that decision, right here and now.

4. End by writing a list of actions to follow so you can change the habits and envision a new life for yourself.

 

Juan

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Look for the Light

Posted on May 31, 2017 by writeherewritenow

Kaushikvishu photo. Wikimedia Commons

One summer, when counseling homeless women, I met Denise, an African American woman in her sixties. Unwilling to make eye contact, she was slumped over in shame. She had grown up in poverty in the deep South, working hard since her teens to become independent and self-reliant. Years ago, she had moved to California, found good job in the office of a high tech company, and was sending money home to her family in North Carolina. Then circumstances closed in on her. She lost her apartment when her landlord sold the building for condo conversions. Then next week she lost her job when the company downsized. With all the layoffs in the valley, she had been unable to find work. Crushed and defeated, she had exhausted her savings and was living in a homeless shelter.

Trying to reach her through the clouds of despair, I asked where she found meaning. For the first time, she looked up and smiled. “My Christian faith,” she said. But now, without a car, she had lost touch with her church community.

When I asked how she could actively practice her faith, she realized she could still find solace in prayer. So Denise began taking daily walks in the nearby park, reciting the words of the 23rd Psalm. “The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. . . .” As she paused to look up at the trees and listen to the birds sing, she began to see the light of hope breaking through the clouds. In the next few weeks, her attitude changed. She came in dressed up in her business clothes. She began interviewing for jobs and applying for low-income housing, rebuilding her life one step at a time.

We cannot control all the circumstances in our lives, but we can choose how to respond. So if you’re feeling dragged down by circumstance, look for meaning–find a way to affirm your deepest values. In a UCLA study, people who merely thought about their personal values before a stress test had stronger immune systems and  their ability to deal with stress improved  (Cresswell, Welch, Taylor, Sherman, Gruenewald, & Mann, 2005).

Where do you find meaning? The next time you feel the clouds closing in on you, take a few moments to reflect:

  • Close your eyes,
  • Take a deep breath and release it, releasing any tension you feel
  • Breathe in possibility
  • Breathe out stress
  • Then recall the words of a favorite prayer or spiritual passage, or visualize an inspirational image, or vision from nature.
  • Breathe in the light of this affirmation,
  • Feeling peace flow through your body and renewed hope in your heart.

Namaste,

Diane

Reference

Cresswell, J. D., Welch, W. T., Taylor, S. E., Sherman, D.K., Gruenewald, T., & Mann, T. (2005). Affirmation of personal values buffers neuroendocrine and psychological stress responses. Psychological Science, 16, 846-851.

 

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Noticing and Releasing

Posted on May 16, 2017 by j1velasco

Whenever I lead a retreat, I encourage participants to keep a journal. Autobiographical writing is part of our spiritual practice, and through our reflections of the past we can arrive to powerful moments of realization. Lindsay, one of the participants in my last retreat, was reluctant to write or to sit with the issue that kept coming up for her–her difficult relationship with her mother. She wanted to use the retreat to face up to that relationship but she was afraid of what the sitting would reveal about her life.

As the retreat progressed, however, she wrote many entries about a lonely child who was missing love and acceptance. Her fears were transforming as she realized the child she was writing about was herself. During the sittings, walking meditation and journal writing she was able to honor and see with clarity her need for compassion and love, and the entanglement that was causing with her mother.

The last day of the retreat, Lindsay, one of the most courageous participants in the retreat, revealed that by facing her own pain, she had been able to see more clearly that her mother would not be able to provide what she needed it, and the realization helped her to release the anger against her mother. Her insights were heartfelt, authentic, and I admired her courage  to let go.

Try this for a few minutes:

  • Close your eyes, sit with your back straight, and focus on your breathing.
  • As you are breathing in, be aware of your breathing in. As you are breathing out, be aware of your breathing out.
  • When your mind wanders, watch your mind, notice what is in there, and what keeps coming up for you over and over again.  Without judgment, just simply contemplate your thoughts as if they were small boats flowing down the river.
  • As you take more time with the breathing in and out, try to keep a mind and open like the sky. Be welcoming and compassionate.
  • At the end of your meditation period, write it down. Write without thinking, release everything you noticed; intentionally, write from your heart, and let it go as it becomes something else in the journal entry.
  • Noticing and releasing can be a daily practice. When you are done, go for a walk, breathe and smile.

 

Juan

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Breaking Through the Clouds

Posted on May 3, 2017 by writeherewritenow

One dark, cloudy day, I was flying with my father, an Air Force pilot and flight instructor, in his single engine Cessna.  I wondered to myself why he would fly in this weather. Then he climbed the plane through the cloud layer to a space where the air was clear and bright. He smiled at me. The clouds were far below us. We had found a source of light.

This vision has stayed with me—the feeling of amazement flying through the dark gray clouds, emerging into a world of light. My father also taught me that weather moves in dynamic patterns—with fog layers and cloud cover close to the ground, clarity and light above. And the weather patterns are constantly changing with hot and cold fronts moving in and out, carried by winds aloft. You can observe this movement by watching the clouds drift overhead.

Like the weather around us, the weather within us is constantly changing. Sometimes we feel hemmed in by clouds–disappointment, frustration, and anxiety. Yet above and beyond these clouds, there is a source of light.

The next time you feel the clouds closing in on you:

  • Take a deep breath,
  • Close your eyes,
  • And ask yourself, “What is this?” as you watch the clouds go by,
  • Realizing that the weather around us, the weather within us is constantly changing
  • Seeing beyond the clouds to discover the source of light.

Namaste,

Diane

 

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Moment by Moment Clarity

Posted on April 16, 2017 by j1velasco

When I got the news, I immediately panicked. It was early morning, ten minutes before 6:00 am and, phone in hand, I was told about my father’s heart attack. I could not enjoy a cup of tea or even my early morning meditation. In that moment fear seemed to permeate the whole world, a terrible sense of danger lurking in my every activity. A few weeks later I was able to fly and stay with my father and, against all odds, he recovered.

Back to the Source

When confronted with bad news, without a clear picture of where we are, our first reaction is to run, to try to escape the situation. How can you catch your breath, turn on the light of awareness and slowly return to center? The key is to slowly reclaim your breath, moment by moment,  and to proceed with your practice of mindfulness until you can return to a state of clarity. Once you attain clarity, compassionate action follows.

Think about the many moments  in your life when an unpredictable mess has send you into a state of panic. These days we are easily pushed to  make rushed decisions, to react hastily, to live a life  plagued with constant fear. Mindful leadership means to recognize the moments when  an unpredictable event has clouded our view. The awareness will help us know when to slow down, pause, and see with clarity the needed action to follow. Cultivating clarity will help you with the unpredictable accidents of life.

How do you cultivate clarity in your life? Try this exercise:

1. Take a few minutes of slow breathing. Acknowledge your emotions in that moment, pay attention to the feelings and especially to those thoughts that trigger hot emotions.

2. During meditation, acknowledge the situations that send you into a state of  panic in your life.

3.  Slowly reclaim the clarity that comes when you embrace the here and now of the present moment.

4. End by writing a list of possible compassionate actions to follow. Envision the solution moment by moment.

Juan

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