During the moment of illumination,
When I see the original face of mind,
A limitless compassion arises.
The greater the illumination,
The greater is the compassion.
The greater my compassion,
The deeper is the wisdom I feel.
– Garmaba
Last quarter I was teaching a class on autobiographical writing. It was an unusual large class with some older students. As we embarked on lifewriting as spiritual practice, some of the students struggled,with their experiences from the past. Suzanne, one of the older students, told me she knew exactly what the theme of her project would be–her almost suicidal relationship with alcoholism. She wanted to take this class to share with her group the lessons and the story of her life.
As the quarter progressed, however, she wrote a haunting, poetic manuscript about a lonely child. She titled the piece, “the brick builder.” It was the story of a child surrounded by a brick wall, a story of loneliness in the midst of great hunger for love and acceptance. She never wrote about alcohol but developed, and completed, great scenes that provided great insight into her metaphor of her childhood.
The last week of classes, Suzanne, who at the time had become one of the most courageous writers in the class, broke down in tears: “We have been given a great gift. This writing helped me to see the pain, name it, and release it. If I had known this years ago, I wouldn’t have had the need to drink myself to death.”
Her advise was heartfelt and the younger students respected her courage and authenticity. I also admired her. I am convinced she made a great difference in the class.
Try this meditation for yourself:
- Close your eyes, sit with your back straight, and focus on your breathing.
- As you are breathing in, you can repeat this short mantra silently to yourself: clear mind, clear mind, clear mind. As you are breathing out, you can say to yourself, don’t know focusing on a long exhalation. Don’t know means don’t hold on to anything, keep a mind clear and open like the sky.
- If your mind wanders, lovingly watch your mind, notice and name what is in there, and what keeps coming up over and over again. Watch it without judgment and just simply name it as if you were contemplating a small boat flowing down the river.
- At the end of your meditation period, write it down. Write without thinking, automatically, as if you were releasing everything you noticed; intentionally, write from your heart, through your arm, all the way down to the paper.
- When you are done, breathe and smile.
Peace,
Juan