Each spring at Santa Clara University students have to meet with their faculty advisors to review requirements and plan their courses for the year ahead.
One day in May, Ellen, a graduating senior, shyly knocked at my office door, asking for an advising appointment. “But you’re graduating in a few days,” I said, “You don’t need to come in for advising.”
“Oh, but I do,” she said, sinking down into the chair by the window. “What should I do now?”
“It depends on your goals, on what you want to do.”
“Well, what would you do?” she asked, her voice shaky.
“I applied to graduate school at UCLA to get my Ph.D. and become an English professor. But that was my answer, not yours. What do you want?”
Ellen looked puzzled. Focusing on externals all her life, she’d been living up to her parents’ expectations, then her professors’, fulfilling the requirements, following all the rules. Now she stood on the edge of possibility. Absolutely clueless and petrified, she didn’t know what to do.
Ellen is not alone. Lots of us become confused in times of transition—finishing school, completing a big project, ending a relationship, changing careers, or approaching retirement. Last spring, in his fifth and final year on phased retirement, my colleague Phil suddenly panicked. Decades of college teaching had defined his life. Now he was at a loss. Anxious and clueless, he asked, “What will I do now?”
If this sounds familiar, take a few moments to get back in touch with your own inner compass.
Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath,
And focus your attention
Somewhere deep beneath the surface,
Beneath your family’s expectations,
Your teachers’,
Your employer’s,
Your culture’s,
Until you find it there
Shining like a hidden vein of gold.
It may be faint at first,
Only a brief glimmer. . .
But take your time.
And you will find it.
As you open your eyes and go about your day,
Keep listening to your feelings.
Follow your heart
And in good time
You will find the treasure within you
Your own inner guidance.
You will know what to do now.
Namaste,
Diane
(compass photo from Wikimedia Commons,
Creative Commons Zero 1.0 License.)