Kaushikvishu photo. Wikimedia Commons
One summer, when counseling homeless women, I met Denise, an African American woman in her sixties. Unwilling to make eye contact, she was slumped over in shame. She had grown up in poverty in the deep South, working hard since her teens to become independent and self-reliant. Years ago, she had moved to California, found good job in the office of a high tech company, and was sending money home to her family in North Carolina. Then circumstances closed in on her. She lost her apartment when her landlord sold the building for condo conversions. Then next week she lost her job when the company downsized. With all the layoffs in the valley, she had been unable to find work. Crushed and defeated, she had exhausted her savings and was living in a homeless shelter.
Trying to reach her through the clouds of despair, I asked where she found meaning. For the first time, she looked up and smiled. “My Christian faith,” she said. But now, without a car, she had lost touch with her church community.
When I asked how she could actively practice her faith, she realized she could still find solace in prayer. So Denise began taking daily walks in the nearby park, reciting the words of the 23rd Psalm. “The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. . . .” As she paused to look up at the trees and listen to the birds sing, she began to see the light of hope breaking through the clouds. In the next few weeks, her attitude changed. She came in dressed up in her business clothes. She began interviewing for jobs and applying for low-income housing, rebuilding her life one step at a time.
We cannot control all the circumstances in our lives, but we can choose how to respond. So if you’re feeling dragged down by circumstance, look for meaning–find a way to affirm your deepest values. In a UCLA study, people who merely thought about their personal values before a stress test had stronger immune systems and their ability to deal with stress improved (Cresswell, Welch, Taylor, Sherman, Gruenewald, & Mann, 2005).
Where do you find meaning? The next time you feel the clouds closing in on you, take a few moments to reflect:
- Close your eyes,
- Take a deep breath and release it, releasing any tension you feel
- Breathe in possibility
- Breathe out stress
- Then recall the words of a favorite prayer or spiritual passage, or visualize an inspirational image, or vision from nature.
- Breathe in the light of this affirmation,
- Feeling peace flow through your body and renewed hope in your heart.
Namaste,
Diane
Reference
Cresswell, J. D., Welch, W. T., Taylor, S. E., Sherman, D.K., Gruenewald, T., & Mann, T. (2005). Affirmation of personal values buffers neuroendocrine and psychological stress responses. Psychological Science, 16, 846-851.