I went to visit my very ill friend in L.A. She is struggling with a terminal illness that will lead to its inevitable conclusion, but a few friends asked me eagerly afterward, the same question on their lips. “What does she need?” As I look at her in subsequent visits, I realize how easy it is for me to offer her what she needs the most—compassion and non-violent communication, the kind of love in speech and actions that reminds her of her true self.
I fly back and forth and I wonder if my friend’s illness is a wake-up call. Do I show the same kind of tenderness towards my self? Do I practice love and non-violent communication when I talk to myself? I often ask of my dear ones these two questions: “How are you feeling?” “What do you need?” But I have a hard time remembering to do that for myself. Nevertheless, some of my happiest moments have been in those moments when I have felt the energy of loving-kindness flowing in and out of me like a free wind. I wonder what it will take to apply compassion to myself as I do with others. How do we come to realize that love and non-violent communication needs to include ourselves?
Try This Meditation:
Breathe in and breathe out. Ask yourself. “How are you feeling?” Breathing in, breathing out, scan your body, mind, and heart. Openly and with sincerity offering love and self-compassion to yourself. “What do you need?” Moment by moment, keep a mind clear like the sky. Compassion for all beings includes your “self.” Moment by moment, trust your wisdom. Compassion and love for all beings include you. Just do it.
Juan