“Just open your heart in an inconceivably big way, in that limitless way that benefits everyone you encounter.” Pema Chodron
When you live in a state of reactivity, a small trigger can set you off in the direction of anger and, ultimately, destruction. Obviously, most of the time, we are in control of our reactions but I invite you to think of a moment when a reactive decision you took added more fuel to the fire. In a conversation or in your emails, the wrong choice of words, or unclear messages, can set off a chain of suffering at work, in your family or in your community. How did you process those moments?And what do you learn about those experiences?
Compassionate Leadership
Whether in the context of self-compassion or as a model of compassionate leadership, Paul Gilbert has dedicated a great deal of his research to the scientific study of compassion. In fact, his model of Compassion Focused Therapy involves an interdisciplinary range of fields, including evolutionary psychology, neuroscience, models of emotion and cognitive and behavioral approaches. Those studies prove the connection between the practice of self-compassion, compassionate leadership, and increasing levels of effectiveness and happiness. When you make decisions or prepare for an important event, do you ever practice compassion? How do you make decisions when in the midst of conflict and anger?
Try this:
-Sit with your back straight and focus on your breathing. As you are breathing in and out, ask yourself: ‘What are my feelings right now?’ Be mindful. Be a witness without being hooked by it.
-Now remember somebody who inspired you to be better, more giving and grateful Remember a moment in your life, when somebody, in an altruistic manner, helped you without asking for anything in return. Focus in that moment of receiving with an open heart, with gratefulness and compassion for others and for yourself.
-Stay with your breath. Be mindful to the power of compassion, of the joy that comes when receiving and giving compassion to others. Notice the way you could affect others and, through the actions in your own life, you could help create a better world.
-When you are done. Practice in compassion at least once a day. A small action can change the whole world.
Peace, Juan