Last month my home Internet service went out. Frustrated and incredulous, I kept re-inserting the usb connection device that had worked perfectly well the day before. Then for the next two weeks I had to deal with delivery delays, repeated calls, and Fedex tracking. My work fell behind as I logged in on public sites and friends’ computers.
Research on stress reveals that what undermines our health and well-being is often not the major challenges but a pile-up of minor annoyances: computer glitches, traffic jams, waiting in line, rude colleagues or schedule changes at work (Karren, Smith, & Gordon, 2014, p. 39). Such hassles can destroy our peace of mind, compromise our immune systems, and lead to ill health—if we let them.
The intense inner dialogue that tries to “solve” a problem without the necessary tools or expertise is what psychologists call “rumination.” The problem churns around through our heads, going around and around like a dog chasing its tail.
Yet despite our American tradition of individualism and self-reliance, what some have called “the doing mode,” some problems cannot be solved with our own cognitive processes or by pushing through with personal will power (Williams, Teasdale, Segal, & Kabat-Zinn, 2007, pp. 43-44). In fact, rumination not only doesn’t solve these problems—it actually makes them worse, gets us stuck, increases our sense of frustration, helplessness, desperation, and even lead us into depression. Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal, and Jon Kabat-Zinn explain this process in their book, The Mindful Way Through Depression, and offer another, more effective approach: mindfulness. Research has shown that when we slow down and focus on what’s happening, what we’re feeling we gain not only greater peace of mind, but greater insight, seeing new possibilities within and around us (Teper, Segal, &Inzlicht, 2013).
As mindfulness helps us see more clearly, we can choose new ways of responding. Sometimes this means reaching out beyond ourselves to the larger community, asking a friend for help. Sometimes it means having patience with the process, staying in touch with our values, waiting for right timing and right action.
What about you?
Are you facing a challenge or frustrating annoyance?
If so, take a moment to practice mindfulness.
Close your eyes
Take a deep breath and slowly release it.
Ask yourself, “What is this?” “What am I feeling now?”
Focus on the feeling,
Feeling yourself more aware of the present moment.
Open your eyes
And write down anything that came up for you
As you trust in the unfolding process.
Namaste,
Diane
References
Karren, K. J., Smith, N. L., & Gordon, K. J. (2014). Mind Body Health. Glenview, IL: Pearson Education.
Teper, R., Segal, Z. V., & Inzlicht, M. (2013). Inside the mindful mind: How mindfulness enhances emotion regulation through improvements in executive control. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 22, 449-454.
Williams, M., Teasdale, J., Segal, Z., & Kabat-Zinn, J. (2007). The Mindful Way Through Depression. New York, NY: Guilford.