“You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
What is courage? Does it mean daring to climb Mt. Everest¸ risking your life for a cause, standing against the forces of oppression? These are the public faces of courage: heroes we admire like Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Aung San Suu Kyi.
But courage has a quieter side: overcoming our personal fears to live our ideals. Eleanor Roosevelt had this kind of courage.
She grew up in a dysfunctional family. Her mother rejected and ridiculed her. Her father was an unstable alcoholic. Both parents died by the time she was 10, so she went to live with her strict maternal grandmother and two alcoholic uncles. Yet she found a mentor in a wise teacher who recognized her strengths. Throughout her life, Eleanor Roosevelt struggled against adversity and painful shyness, developing a compassionate heart and reaching out to others. She worked in settlement houses, helping impoverished children. When her husband contracted polio, she helped support his political career. During the Depression, the New Deal, and World War II, Eleanor Roosevelt traveled when her husband was less able to, reaching out to others at home and abroad, becoming a valued political advisor. All the while, she maintained her own personal vocation: writing and working ardently for social justice. After Franklin Roosevelt’s death, she became the first chair of the United Nations Human Rights Commission, drafting the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
Courage, she realized, was not the absence of fear, but a lifelong process of facing our fears and overcoming them. “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face,” she said. “You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”
One of the universal character strengths common to humankind (Peterson & Seligman, 2004), courage helps us bridge the gap between our actions and our ideals. For me it means the power to change—the inner strength to overcome a deeply-ingrained dysfunctional pattern, resolve a longstanding inner conflict, or break free of a toxic relationship. It means the ability to live life on our own terms, refusing to surrender to circumstance¸ declaring our spiritual independence.
This September, as the leaves turn red and gold, take a moment to reflect on an area of your life you’d like to change.
Close your eyes and take a deep, slow breath, feeling yourself becoming more relaxed and centered.
• Then see yourself confronting the situation and facing the challenge of change.
• Feel the fear, the uncertainty and anxiety.
• Ask yourself ‘What’s really going on?’ ‘What am I afraid of?’
• If facing this fear triggers a longstanding trauma from the past, you may need support from a wise friend, spiritual teacher, or counselor.
• If this is the case, plan to get that support as your first step.
• Then visualize yourself moving forward: see yourself leaving the old pattern of darkness to embrace greater light
• Feel the light of peace, love, and joy surround you.
• Then open your eyes and write down what you experienced, making plans to take the next step on the path.
Namaste,
Diane
References
Eleanor Roosevelt quote from http://womenshistory.about.com/cs/quotes/a/qu_e_roosevelt.htm
Peterson, C. & Seligman, M. E. P. (2004). Character strengths and virtues: A handbook and classification. New York: Oxford University Press.