“The Tao leader creates harmony
Reaching
From the heart
To build community.
Tao Te Ching, 49
I rarely see my neighbors. They back their cars out of their garages each morning as they leave for work, then open the garage doors with the remote and disappear into their garages at night. When I first moved here, I barely knew anyone. Then one afternoon the neighbors in the house across the street were robbed. Their next door neighbors were home, but no one noticed. I realized we were not a real community. I organized a neighborhood meeting at my house, so we could get to know each other and report any future suspicious incidents to the police.
I once had community—years ago in my teens when I lived in Olathe, Kansas. I could ride my bike to school or walk into town. People sat on their front porches, greeting neighbors as they walked by, often exchanging the latest gossip. Women would go next door to borrow a cup of sugar. Last week, a friend told me about Task Rabbit, https://www.taskrabbit.com/ where you can pay someone to bring you a cup of sugar or do other errands. This may be convenient, but it is not community.
Where do we find community in our increasingly frantic, impersonal culture? Psychologists tell us that we need community. Without the warmth of supportive family and friends, our immune systems break down; we’re at risk for depression, even heart problems. It is no coincidence that the most extreme punishment in prison is solitary confinement.
Living in faceless suburbia, many of us find our community at work. In 
the English department at my university, colleagues commute from miles away, from San Francisco to Santa Cruz, yet we’re all united by our dedication to teaching and writing. Years ago, as department chair, I looked for ways to cultivate community, setting up buffet brunches in the mail room on the first day of class, writing a weekly memo announcing meetings, and celebrating my colleagues’ accomplishments. But now workplaces have changed as managers rely more and more on a temporary workforce. Ten years ago, my colleagues and I knew each other, shared stories, watched each others’ children grow up. But now two-thirds of university faculty are contract workers. Last month, I looked at the names on the department mailboxes and realized that I don’t know most of my colleagues. This is not community.
Unlike life in the small towns of the past, community no longer just happens. We need to cultivate it, to slow down long enough to really see the people around us, create rituals that make time for those we love. My husband and I work out together three nights a week and reserve time for the two of us each weekend. A few years ago, Juan started the Contemplative Action Network, a group of faculty and staff who join together on the first Wednesday of each month to meditate and share our concerns, insights, and inspiration.
Where do you find community?
- Take a few moments to reflect on the circle of people you care about.
- How long has it been since you connected with them?
- Ask yourself, “What can I do to cultivate community?” –Call an old friend? Arrange to meet for coffee or lunch? Something else?
- Write down your ideas.
Then follow up: take action on one of these ideas this week.
Namaste,
Diane