“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.
Without them humanity cannot survive.”
The Dalai Lama
Are you too busy, too rushed to feel compassion for the people around you? Even when we have the best intentions, our capacity for compassion can be sabotaged by stress.
To understand how this happens, let’s go back to a classic experiment at Princeton Theological Seminary. One day in December, a group of ministerial students was assigned to give an impromptu speech. First, the students met individually with the researcher, who gave them their speech topics: either their future career in the ministry or the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:29-37). Then they were told to go to the lab next door where their talks would be recorded. For some students, the researcher added another factor: telling them to hurry because they were running late.
One by one, the ministerial students went over to the lab on this cold December day, walking through an alley to the next building, where a young man was slumped in a doorway, apparently in distress, coughing and groaning. Some students stopped to ask if he needed help; some even took him inside and tried to get medical help. Others ignored him as they walked on by.
What made the difference? Not whether the students were going to talk about their future careers or the Good Samaritan, but whether they were in a hurry–rushing because they felt they were running late. The researchers even found that “on several occasions, a seminary student going to give his talk on the parable of the Good Samaritan literally stepped over the victim as he hurried on his way” (Darley & Batson, 1973, p. 107). These well-meaning ministerial students had been hijacked by the stress reaction.
As psychologist Marc Schoen has found our stress reaction is actually a fear response. When we’re rushing, our brain perceives a threat, triggering a primal fight or flight reaction. This reaction shuts down our cerebral cortex—our capacity for clarity, discernment, and compassion (Schoen, 2013). In our world today, the fear response is easily triggered as we rush to keep up with escalating demands at work, 24/7 connectivity, and mounting political and economic insecurity, haunted by fear of failure, fear of falling behind.
Chronic stress undermines our compassion, our health, and our relationships, but we can transcend it by adding brief compassion breaks to our days. Taking a few moments to release all the toxic stress reactions opens our hearts to a deep source of peace and renewal.
For your own good and the greater good of our world, you can begin taking compassion breaks. Here’s how. For the next few moments, turn off your phone or computer, and take time to just BE.
- Close your eyes, take a deep breath and slowly release it.
- As you breathe in, say silently to yourself: “Calm mind.”
- As you breathe out, say silently, “Peaceful body.”
- Feel your shoulders relaxing and tension slowly melting away as you focus on your breathing
- Then open your eyes and open your heart to greater peace and compassion.
Namaste,
Diane
References
His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso. Quote from http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/d/dalai_lama.html
Darley, J. M. & Batson, C. D. (1973). “From Jerusalem to Jericho”: A study of situation and dispositional variables in helping behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 27, 100-108.
Schoen, M. (2013) Your survival instinct is killing you. New York, NY: Hudson Street Press.
Tamayo-Moraga, S. (March 2014). Personal communication. This calming meditation is adapted from a practice by our friend and colleague Dr. Sarita Tamayo-Moraga, who teaches courses in Mindfulness and Eastern Religions at Santa Clara University and has a deep background in Buddhism and contemplative spirituality.