Ntesie – Mate Masie

The Path to Fulfillment

Canopy Walk in Ghana

It took me awhile to find a road to follow that would help lead me down a path of fulfillment and meaning. To say that I knew the profession I would acquire one day would be one of helping people, is far from the truth. Honestly, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, but I knew it needed to be something that brought me joy. It needed to be something I was passionate about and it needed to be something where I could wake up in the morning and be proud of what I was doing. It needed to give me drive, because if I know one thing about myself without passion, without excitement, without meaning, I get lost in what I am doing. The people that know me well could definitely vouch for this detail of my life. A good example would be my classes. The classes I have passion for or the classes I find challenging are the ones I thrive in. I enjoy a challenge. It is just who I am. When I can put my whole heart into my work it is truly noticeable. It feels like yesterday that I chose to enroll in Santa Clara University and then just like now I was terrified of the challenges that laid before me. For someone who likes to travel so much, it is odd how much I hate change and how it terrifies me so much. I am starting to realize though that it is the fear of change that keeps me coming back for more. But no matter how scared I am and how many butterflies fill my stomach, I continue to seek that jaw dropping, stomach twisting, nerve-frying  excitement that accompanies change. Some people call it being an adventure junkie, but I prefer the terms lover of life or seeker of knowledge. There is just something about traveling to a new destination where the currency is different, the language is unrecognizable, the food turns my stomach and I stick out like a sore thumb that makes me feel at ease and at place in this chaotic world. Odd? Yes, believe me I am well aware of my circumstances. But, there is just something utterly relaxing about being thrown into a situation where you are not sure whether you are going to come out in one piece or fifty. And these elements are even better, when you throw work into the whole mix. It is really easy to pull out a camera and get a great shot, but I think it means a lot more to get that great shot when it is 100+ degrees outside and you have dozens of kids putting their little hands all over the lens of your camera. I think this thrill for adventure stems from my father. Let us take him for example… if brain surgery was not a big enough thrill lets drop him off in the middle of a third world country, have him operate on someone’s brain and spine and if that is not enough excitement for him, for fun lets  just throw in rolling blackouts every ten to thirty minutes to spice things up. Some might call that crazy, but I say hell to being normal! For a long time I was plagued with the hope of being somewhat normal, but as I have grownup and as I continue to experience things like this fellowship I have begun to realize that normal is just not my following. It is not my calling and to be blunt I know if I am burdened with a normal life then I will be showing up to my ten-year college reunion in a straight jacket. Talk about normal. So call me crazy if you must, but I am starting to come to terms with the path that  I am destine to live. Now do not take this as confidence, because if there is one thing I truly lack it is confidence. I am confident of who I am and I am confident that my path to fulfillment lies in a life of giving and helping those who cannot help themselves, but I would be flat out lying if I said I was confident that I am going to be able to live this life that I am so sure I am predestined to live. Because as much as I fear change, I fear failure even more. And the scary thing about failure is that it usually accompanies change. They kind of go hand and hand, because change comes with learning and most often learning comes with failure. So the question that seems to constantly trouble my thoughts is: Am I so scared of failure that I am too afraid to live a life a constant adventure and change? What I am learning is that practice makes perfect and that I must continue to receive change with open arms no matter if failure accompanies it or not, because I will never live a life of fulfillment if I continue to hide from my fear of failure. I sent the image of a normal life packing a long time ago. The image started fading ever since I decided to set a foot on that plane to Africa, and every minute of everyday that image becomes more fuzzy and unclear. But, as I try to make out some picture of normalcy in my life the more blurry the picture becomes, but as that image of a normal life fades, the image of whom my true self is begins to focus and I am finally beginning to see the pixels of my life and my calling become less grainy and more smooth.

The Start of My Travels Dar es Salaam, Tanzania

As I become more happy with whom I am, the more I have begun to understand the things that make me tick. I think the want for a normal life, was not necessarily me craving a normal life, but instead it was me wanting to understand who I was and why I felt so different from other people. I could never understand why I felt so differently than my other classmates about certain things. I was the child that would tear up when I saw someone eating dinner alone. The child that could see the good in the grumpy teacher or mean neighbor. I was the child that could see through the class bully, because I understood that there was something that was troubling him or her behind the hate. I have always credited myself for being able to understand people, but it has also made my life rather challenging. Often growing up, I have been plagued with a deep sadness and a mature understanding of life that has made me cynical. But as I age, I have begun to understand that this part of me is more of a blessing rather than a curse. As I continue to grow and experience new cultures, I have begun to replace the word failure with the word learning, helping me except who I am. I know I have much more growing to do, but for once I feel like I am on the right path and the word normal is slowly phasing out of my vocabulary. And for the first time, I can say for this I am truly happy. In life one is considered lucky if they understand who they are and they are even luckier if they are able to come to terms with it. As I continue to experience my life through an airplane window and from behind a camera, I can honestly say that I rather know I will never live a normal life than be blind to the person I am predestined to be.

So They Keep Asking Me: What’s Next?

So when people ask you the question: What’s next?  People often do not like the answer, I don’t know. It usually makes people uncomfortable, because living a life of uncertainty is usually not coveted. Lucky for me I have a concept of what I want to do next, but I am not sure if I am making the right decision. I have decided to apply to the United Nations University in Tokyo for a Master’s of Science in Sustainability, Development in Peace and to The University for Peace in Costa Rica for a Master’s in International Law and Human Rights. I had to make a decision between three life paths after college and all three are paths I plan to follow one day, but the challenge was to decide how to go about them. The three paths are graduate school for peace studies, law school for international law and a profession in photojournalism. If my father had a say I would be going to law school right after college and if my heart had a say I would be starting a career in photojournalism right after college. But, sometimes one must make a decision that is going help them achieve their dreams in the long run and for me that was going to mean graduate school first. I have always been so blessed to grow up in such a loving family. I have also been blessed to grow up in a country where women have equal rights as men.  A nation where I have the ability and opportunity to freely list the additional schooling I want to take part in without the fear of being silenced or merely laughed at. I have been privileged in more ways than one. My parents and country have given me the world and allowed me to follow my dreams, therefore, I have always hoped that the career I choose will somehow give to those children and women that have not been as lucky as I have to grow up in a world with endless opportunities. I feel that so many children, especially little girls, do not have anyone protecting them and looking out for their best interest. For example, my little brother Ben who is currently in the process of getting adopted and has spent most of his life with no one there to care for him and put his needs before their own. The other children I have cared for in the various orphanages I have worked at have had it even worse than him. To me the neglect and abuse of a child or a woman is the worst sin a person can commit and I one day hope to help put an end to these awful human rights abuses that are inflicted on some of the world’s most helpless individuals. I want to be able to give a voice to the voiceless and be there to protect those who do not have the ability to protect themselves. By getting my degree in peace studies I will be able to study the different human rights abuses that plague children and women all over the world. I will be able to learn skills of mediation and negotiation to help bring justice to those that are continually mistreated, especially those whose culture makes it socially acceptable to treat them inferior because of their age, race or gender. Next, I will attend law school. Law school with help me learn how to use the law to my advantage in protecting  children and women from these human rights abuses. I can learn what it means to have the law on my side and with a law degree I will be considered credible when I speak out against human rights abuses that affect children and women. Last, I will tell the stories of these children and women through my photographs. I will tell their stories through images, so people can open their eyes to the horrific social injustices that are happening throughout the world. Sometimes writing does not tell the same story as pictures and with my love for travel I will be able to go to some of the most remote places in order to uncover these injustices. But, to do this I believe that there is a correct path in becoming an advocate for social justice and social change and I do not believe that begins with law school or photojournalism. I am not ready for law school and I am not ready to put myself out there to become a photojournalist yet. I feel that my first step is to attend graduate school and I think nothing would prepare me more for helping solve human rights abuses than studying peace and conflict from a university charted by the United Nations.

Capturing Stories Through Photography

Peace Pole at Nkrumah’s Place of Rest in Accra, Ghana

Through this fellowship, I have realized that this is the best path for me to follow and though I am scared to fail I know that if I can succeed in following this road I can truly do good. I am terrified that my dreams will end in failure. But I know if I do not go for my dreams, I will always regret not trying. This journey has been one of excitement, fear and self-knowledge. In the book Heroic Leadership, author Chris Lowney states that, “The person who knows what he or she wants can pursue it energetically. No one becomes a great teacher, parent, violinist, or corporate executive by accident” (Lowney 95). The more I grow the more I realize what I want in life. I am beginning to understand the person I want to be. Through the Global Social Benefit Fellowship I have begun to open my eyes to who I am, and gain knowledge on my strengths and weaknesses. I am finding it easier to recognize that the image of myself I used to think was the one I wanted portray was merely what  society has illustrated as the normal life or correct path to follow. I am starting to come to terms with the fact that this is not who I am going to be and what makes me even happier is that I am happy that this is not who I am or will ever be. As I grow more and uncover my true self, I have become more passionate about my life and path to fulfillment. I might not be normal, I know I have more feelings than most combined together, but I think that is what makes me so good with people. It is what makes me special. The more I open my heart to change and failure and the more I realize being what society considers “normal” is not going to bring me happiness, the more I will end up accomplishing  in my life and the more likely I will be able to fulfill my dreams. Everyday the true image of myself is becoming clearer and everyday I feel one step closer to finding a life of true contentment and happiness.

Being an Honorary Solar Sister

Solar Sister

Before leaving for Uganda, I felt so many different emotions. I was nervous. I was scared. Some days I was unprepared. Some days I was prepared. But overall, I was excited. I was excited to get back to Africa. I had spent an entire quarter preparing to work with the social enterprise, Solar Sister. I was so eager to begin working. I knew this would be a trip of a lifetime and that I would learn so much when I was there. Though I was excited, I was also extremely nervous. From previous experiences, I knew how difficult it is to work in a developing country. I knew that it would not be easy and that my team and I would hit bumps in the road from time to time. But, I also had faith that Kirsten, Misa and I could handle the hardships that we would ultimately face, while abroad. What I did not know before leaving to go abroad was that I would come back a more empowered woman and individual. From the people I met, the stories I captured, and the hardships I faced when I came home to the States, I learned the meaning and the importance of empowerment, passion and perseverance.

Being Empowered as a Woman

“Invest in a woman. Invest in the future.”

                        -Katherine Lucey; CEO of Solar Sister

There were many women in Uganda that inspired me greatly, but three women in particular empowered me as a woman the most. Their names were Jane, Teddy and Katherine Lucey. Jane was one of the most amazing women I have ever had the privilege of meeting. Kirsten, Misa and I met Jane during the first few weeks of working with Solar Sister. We were introduced to Jane during our first field visit to Gulu, Uganda. Immediately, Jane took us under her wing and together with her drive, confidence, strength and courageousness my fellow Solar Sisters and I were able to conduct beneficial and educational interviews. She was the definition of a “go getter”—someone who takes charge and gets the job done. At night, we would go out and visit villages that were in complete darkness. Because of Jane and the respect she had gained from many communities, due to her accountant/manager degree and her job as a Solar Sister, my team and I were able to see what it is like to live in complete darkness when the sun goes down. What was truly empowering about Jane though, was that she grew up in an extremely traditional Ugandan family. For example, her brother had trained all his life mastering the throwing spear, so when the day came that Jane decided to get married, her brother would be able to win or gain as many cows for his family as he could. The soon to be husband’s family would line up fifty cows in rows of ten and then Jane’s brother would throw the spear and whatever cow he hit would be the number of cows Jane’s family would receive for her bride price. If her brother hit the fiftieth cow in the lineup he would receive fifty cows. Jane was always teaching us about important cultural traditions of the Ugandan people, but she was also an incredible and extremely modern saleswoman. She was able to balance cultural values with modern ideals. In Africa, many women are considered to be the caretakers of the home. Their job is to cook, clean and take care of the children. But for Jane, this was not a life she desired to take part in.

Jane

So, she went to school and got her degree as a manager and an accountant. Not only has Jane worked hard to pay for and receive an education, but also she has been excelling immensely as a Solar Sister—heading in the direction of becoming a regional director for Northern Uganda. To me Jane was so empowering, because she chose to be a woman that was traditional and modern at the same time. She believed in the importance of tradition and culture and simultaneously she also believed in the importance of being a self-sufficient income-earning female. To me that is a truly empowering woman!

Jane

While trying to capture a human-interest story, we met a woman named Teddy that inspired my team, Solar Sister and I. This is Teddy’s story: When Teddy’s husband left her with her three children, she had to rely solely on her sewing job to make sure she could take care of her three girls. During the day she had to take care of her children, making it impossible to focus on her sewing. So at night with no source a light, Teddy would walk several miles on a dark dangerous path in order to rent a hotel room (that had electricity) to do her sewing. The rent of the room was so pricey that the money could only go towards food, and therefore, her children’s education was neglected. When she heard about Solar Sister, she decided to save up some of her earnings to be able to purchase a solar light. After a few months of hard work and late nights, Teddy was finally able to purchase a solar light from Solar Sister. This light made an incredible and positive impact on Teddy and her children’s lives. With a new source of light, Teddy was able to sew at night in her home, which allowed her to save money from renting the pricey room in town. It also kept her safer, because she no longer had to walk her dangerous route to town at night. The most beneficial impact that her newly purchased solar light made was that Teddy was now producing enough income from sewing to send her daughters to school. On top of this Teddy also became a role model in her community, because she was one of the few houses who had light. Teddy’s life changed from a tragic story of being left by her husband to a story of a woman who against all odds persevered to save and protect her family. When Teddy told us her story, it brought tears to my eyes. Here was a woman who turned misfortune into hope—a true leader. Teddy showed me what it means to be a strong woman. She made me proud to be a woman.

Teddy Sewing in her Home

It is partly due to Katherine Lucey that Jane and Teddy have become such empowering and inspiring women. Katherine Lucey is the Founder and CEO of Solar Sister. She is also one of my role models as a woman. I look up to Katherine Lucey, because she has created a business that empowers women to be self-sufficient. She has given so many women a voice that they did not have before. It is because of her that I began to realize my talents as a photographer and my passion in using my skills to tell the stories of these inspirational women. Solar Sister is more than a business that helps provide light to those living in energy poverty, it is a business that has given women the opportunity to have a say in their own lives. I have always considered myself a very strong female. I think of myself as a feminist and my mother raised me on strong feminist ideals. But, it was not until I worked with the Solar Sisters and Katherine Lucey that I truly started to find my voice as a strong female. To work side by side with these women and to see the importance of investing in women was one of the most empowering moments in my life. As a woman, I felt like this experience gave me a voice and made me even more proud to be a woman. And because of Katherine Lucey and her Solar Sisters, I will continue to live my life as a strong female. Every person, female or male, deserves to have a voice and to be proud of who they are!

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Uncovering My Passion

“When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence.”

-Ansel Adams

One of the most important things I learned, while in Uganda, working with Solar Sister, is that I have a major passion for photography. I always knew that I had a love for photography, but I always saw it as more of a hobby than a potential future career. But, when I was in Uganda, standing behind my camera, I felt like that was where I belonged. I was doing what I loved to do. Every day I woke up I was excited to start working. When I am behind the camera I feel like I am a different person. I feel alive. I love photography, because it tells people’s stories—stories that empower people, stories that uncover social injustice, and stories that show the good of mankind. It gives hope. It reveals tragedy. But most of all it exposes the truth. It is a skill the world needs in order to educate people about the problems people face all over the world. That’s why I aspire to become a photojournalist. With my passion for photography, politics, international relations and social justice, I think I have the ability to be a photojournalist. But, it took me awhile to realize this was more than just a hobby, it was a passion.

Taking Photos in Uganda

I first started taking pictures when I went to Africa with my father for the first time. I accompanied him to Africa to work in a children’s hospital. I was seventeen and I had just been slapped with a harsh case of reality. At the beginning of the volunteer trip, I did not know if I was going to be able to face the reality that lay before me. I thought I was going to crumble and even though there were days that were extremely hard during and after my trip, I was able to persevere through the hard times. I did this by turning my attention to photography. What I realized one day, while working in Tanzania at the Muhimbili children’s ward was that I wanted to share these children’s stories. The children’s ward was the smallest building in the hospital. There were such few beds for the children that many of the children had to lay outside in the grass and the dirt, because they could not afford to pay their medical bills. The hospital technically could not send patients away, but what the doctors could and did do was allow the people that could afford the medical fees health services first. Therefore, many children were neglected healthcare, which resulted in premature deaths—deaths that could have been ultimately avoided. It was then that I decided that one most beneficial and helpful thing I could do was tell these children and their families’ stories. I could show people the reality of medical care in developing countries. So I decided to borrow my father’s Canon 5D Mark II camera, while he was operating to capture the stories of families and children I had grown close to. With pictures and words I was able to tell the story of a child and father who walked across Tanzania in order for his son to get the heart surgery he needed; I was able to tell a story that described a child who had been roaming around the hospital, because his parents had lost their lives and he had no place to go; I told a story of a father who ended up being a pseudo father to children who were alone waiting to receive help; and I told the story of an albino child who had cancer and was living in a community where their limbs were wanted for witchcraft. These stories broke my heart and were at moments hard to grasp, but with these stories of hardship and tragedy came stories of hope and happiness—stories of community members coming together to pay for a child’s surgery and stories of my dad performing life saving surgeries (some I even got to watch). Though my words were strong, it was my pictures that were truly powerful. They seemed to stir the pot. It made many people realize how lucky we are to live in a country that has decent healthcare, even though, at the time, the U.S. government had not yet passed Obama’s healthcare bill. It opened people’s eyes to the reality of the developing world and the importance of helping those who cannot help themselves. A critical lesson I learned from my father many years ago. It was at that moment I became conscious of the fact that I could make an impact on people’s lives through the stories I told with my photos. I could impact the lives of my family and friends by telling the stories that the patients had told me. At that moment, I realized how much I enjoyed producing photos that brought forth the truth and that told the real story. Also, it was then that I realized how much I loved traveling to Africa. Every picture I took fueled my promise to return back to Africa to continue helping and sharing people’s stories. It was after this trip that my parents and grandparents thought that the best high school graduation present for me would be a Canon Rebel camera and five hundred dollars for my next trip to Africa. I spent the next four years learning about my camera, practicing and saving up in the determination to go back to Africa. It was after these four years that I decided to apply to study abroad at the University of Ghana. The love I had for photography grew over the six months I was studying oversees in Ghana. I was able to capture some amazing stories—one being the story of my family’s adoption of my brother Ben. But, it was not until I participated in the Global Social Benefit Fellowship, where I worked with the social enterprise, Solar Sister, that my passion for photography truly flourished.

Before I left for my field placement, Uganda, my father gave me his Canon 5D Mark II camera. I was so excited to receive this camera! Not only because it was nice, but also because it was the first DSLR camera I used, during my trip to Tanzania. My passion for photography grew enormously when working with Solar Sister in Uganda. There are many reasons why my passion flourished, while working in Uganda, but there was one reason in particular that really sparked my interest in becoming a photojournalist. It was the fact that I was being treated like a true photographer for the first time. The Founder and CEO of Solar Sister, Katherine Lucey, really inspired me. Katherine Lucey would tell me what human-interest story she would desire or how she wanted the product to look and I would go out and do my best to make her vision a reality. I also greatly enjoyed the critiques she would give me on my photos, because with those I was truly able to capture the individual Solar Sisters’ stories and the stories of the communities they helped with their solar lighting. It was then that I realized I could spend the rest of my life taking photos professionally. Taking pictures for Solar Sister has been the most rewarding and beautiful experience. I would be proud to be a photojournalist, because I truly believe that without photography the truth can be twisted through words. Photography makes life a little clearer—especially in my case. Like Ansel Adams said, “When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs.” That is what I intend to do!

Capturing the Moment

Learning to Persevere Even During the Lowest of Lows

“Leaders persevere.”

-Chris Lowney

Someone once told me that I was tough and fragile at the same times. When they told me this it was truly an aha moment, and I now fully agree with this statement. What I have learned over these years of traveling to Africa was that I could only do what I do and see what I see, because I am both tough and fragile. I am able to persevere during my lowest of lows, because I am tough. But I also am fragile and feel with my heart, making it often a struggle to persevere. I have seen my fair share of disheartening events in my life. From starvation to child neglect, I have seen some of the worst tragedies known to man. Sometimes my heart feels so heavy that it is hard to cope with all the pain that comes with life. But, I do my best to see the good that surrounds me. When I was working with Solar Sister I experienced so many positive stories that some days I was able to forget about the hardships I was facing in my personal life—the loss of a good childhood friend, the struggles my family is facing with Ben’s adoption, and the fatal disease that took my beautiful Great Dane. But when I got home, the realities of my life in the States hit me extremely hard. It was almost as if someone had punched me in the face. Honestly, there were days where it was difficult to get out of bed. What made it even harder was that my family was counting on me to be tough. I learned that it is extremely hard to be tough, when all you what to do is huddle underneath the covers and hind from the world. On top of all this I was also trying to process the six weeks I had spent in Uganda. Though it was an amazing time, one still has to process the experiences they have in a developing country. It has not been an easy time for me, but from previous experiences and what I learned from these amazing Solar Sisters, is that I can and I will continue to persevere through these hard times. I know with my fragile soul that it will not be easy, but I owe it to my brothers and I owe it to the people who have shared their stories with me. I know their will be days of lows in the times to come, but I also know that I have the strength to persevere. I have been so inspired these last few months that I will not allow these hardships to consume my life. My experiences with Solar Sister have caused me to grow so much as an individual and as a woman. I am truly proud to be a honorary Solar Sister!

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