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My First Impression

As a writer, I always think I have little analysis or commentary in mind, but I end up writing a page or two more than the requirement. I usually find myself making complicated arguments that are hard to keep to a mere 4 page limit. So approaching this last assignment, I immediately dreading the start of it, scared that I would write 1500 words instead of the allotted 600.

Yet, it was much simpler than I thought it would be.

Diving into Translating

Trying to get this assignment over with, I jumped into it by summarizing and editing my last essay on inequality and how education changes it. Going paragraph by paragraph, I found condensing it to be straightforward and effortless, instead of being overwhelmed had I taken it all in at once. After I picked out all the important and insightful sentences, I thought about what voice and tone I wanted to use. I naturally have a more formal voice when I write which helps me communicate my argument in a more detailed way. So finding a semi-professional voice and integrating my own opinions was really difficult for me.

Looking at other blogs, it seemed so easy to use first person as it helped the flow of the paragraphs. With its formatting like bolding and subtitles, I received a sense of what the end result would look like and how effective it was in communicating the blog’s message. Unfortunately, my first attempt at using “I” in my writing was a disaster.

I felt stuck and trapped in my old ways, unable to communicate my point without using complicated sentence structures and a series of “fancy” adjectives. I reread sentences and paragraphs, trying to find sections I could insert an “I disagree” or “I would point out that”. Yet, my fear that my writing would sound unprofessional and basic prevented me from being able to truly make a first person point of view fit.

Luckily, peer review saved me and I had the chance to see how my classmates inserted their voices in their paragraphs. Those in my group also gave me useful feedback and tips on how to do this, noting that this was my biggest problem. Reviewing my post, I slowly integrated more “I believe” and “my point is” while remaining true to my normal writing style. I tied in a personal example to make my personality present in the writing, giving the blog post character. Even though my tone isn’t what you’d normally expect from a blog, I’m proud of the changes I made and how I stepped out of my “comfort zone”, as cliche as it is.

Editing my post for the last time, I included metacommentary to give a new or simplistic perspective on some of my analysis. I also kept most of the transitions from the sentences of my original essay to make my blog post flow. These moves helped me remain true to my academic writing voice and style and when combined with my casual tone, created a well-rounded argument.

Looking Back

Stepping back from my blog post, I clearly see the differences in the essay I submitted weeks ago. It turned from a lengthy, intricate essay to a concise, but insightful post that kept the same fundamental message of the effects of education on inequality.

Ultimately, this assignment challenged me the most in this section of CTW. Since I was uncomfortable with writing casually, the blog post encouraged me to try something different and expand my skills in academic writing. I’ll continue to work on my voice and tone throughout the existence of this blog, but I’m satisfied with what my first attempt has taught me.

Thanks for reading!

P.S. If you’re thinking about starting a blog, check this guide out!

For many students, inequality is seen everyday in the classroom when classmates gossip about who got the highest score on the math test or when that new kid that stands out because of her appearance. This makes students feel uncomfortable and lose focus while being afraid of the classroom that almost encourages inequality.

But as I’m thinking about it more and more, it’s that same institution, education, that can actually save students from inequality in the future, giving them knowledge and skills to find success.

Inequality in Class

From a young age, students notice their differences in race and culture in the classroom setting and receive criticism because of it. In “Hunger of Memory”, Richard Rodriguez remembers seeing the other children from white and educated families and seeing himself, a boy who couldn’t speak English and clung to his Spanish roots. Since he couldn’t relate to others, school became a strange and unwelcoming place, which interfered with his learning. As a child of immigrants, I experienced something similar to Rodriguez’s struggle and related to how difficult it was belonging to a world he couldn’t even communicate in. Speaking from experience, the nervousness I felt sitting in a room with kids that looked and spoke differently than I did distracted me from learning, which is exactly what Rodriguez experienced. 

But, even if your class has kids that look, act and talk the same way, inequality can still exist. This was the case for Sherman Alexie, author of “Joy of Learning and Writing: Superman and Me”. Living on an Indian reservation, he fought with his classmates because, “They wanted [him] to stay quiet when the non-Indian teacher asked for answers, for volunteers, for help. We were Indian children who were expected to be stupid”. 

Discouraged and outcasted, he was challenged by stereotypes that had the power to convince him to give up on school. Luckily, he fell in love with books and reading, stating, “I also knew that love only had one purpose. I was trying to save my life”. In other words, Alexie realized that although it was difficult to fit in socially, it was less important than gaining an education that had the power to help him avoid inequality later on.

What’s the Point of Going to College? 

Education, specifically college, can change how inequality affects life financially. According to economic experts Becker and Murphy, “an American with a college degree earned about 30 percent more than an American who stopped education at high school” as the “premium for having a graduate degree increased from roughly 50… to well over 100 percent”.

This shows that pursuing a bachelor’s degree, compared to the alternative of a high school diploma, leads to higher wages. Even though this increases income inequality more, it means more students are motivated to reach higher income statuses. The extent of education also changes income levels since those with a graduate degree make more on average. Ultimately, what is at stake here is the potential financial benefits of all, since everyone in the U.S. has an opportunity at and deserves an education. 

On the surface, financial inequality looks like a barrier, but it is actually an incentive to get a college degree. David Leonhardt, author of numerous books and articles on economic issues, believes that “many of [society’s] less-wealthy citizens quickly acquire an ephemeral but nonetheless crucial form of capital–knowledge” through education. In other words, students from a lower class become investments and improve their wealth mentally and financially. People are willing to make this investment because the return is substantial.

When people ask “Isn’t college really expensive?” or simply say “I can’t afford college”, I quickly point out that scholarships, grants, and financial aid packages exist to help students reach their much deserved education. In the end, I strongly believe that financial inequality helps students by inspiring and pushing them towards their futures.

Overall, my point is that education exists as a place with inequality and injustice, but also valuable knowledge and learning. Yes, inequality can harm students but it can also provide motivation and encouragement to escape it through education. In sum, then, everyone who dedicated themselves to school reaps the financial benefits and opportunities, helping themselves and society as a whole.

Thanks for reading!

Works Cited

“The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all” -Mulan

 Welcome to my blog! My name is Celine Chen and I’m a First-Year at Santa Clara University majoring in business, specifically marketing. I’m from Los Angeles and I love being adventurous with food and collecting cute keychains and figurines. But, I also enjoy writing academically and going online to read and find gifs and memes, which makes it strange that I’ve never tried blogging before. 

This blog will focus on the general topic of education in a casual way. Like the quote above says, I believe that education can help the flower in every individual bloom and that it provides a unique perspective on life. I’ll admit that this blog is part of my Critical Reading and Writing class, but that doesn’t mean it’ll be boring and tasteless.

Stay tuned for posts!