Sometimes I feel like I can’t actively pursue my own agenda without sounding like an angry Asian woman. Pretty much every time I write about something remotely based on race, I feel better about spreading information but I also feel like my ideas may not be coming across as well as I’d imagined.
It’s getting to the point where I feel like I’ve almost talked about race too much, and now I just can’t bring myself to continue the topic for 10 weeks as my final project. There comes a point where you elaborate on ideas so much that you just feel like a broken record and that’s really how I’m beginning to see things. It’s sad. There’s still so much ignorance that people carry, yet I’m running out of ways to get people to listen.
I could go on.
I could keep advocating and lamenting the lack of resources in the archives about the Multi-Cultural Center, or I could comment on the disappearance of Native American artifacts. That in itself is already a very interesting topic, and it goes back to the process of choosing what the university should keep, and what information it throws out. I’ll keep an optimistic mindset. Maybe 10 years from now, more artifacts will be submitted to the archives and future SCU students will be able to learn about our history. However what’s prevalent now is that the documents aren’t present.
But how much am I going to keep talking about something that just doesn’t exist?
I know it honestly sucks but it’s coming to a point where I’m finding it difficult to find out a way to keep the conversation going. It doesn’t mean I’m going to be leaving this topic behind for good. Really, I’ll look for ways to keep contributing to the conversation, but it feels like now there’s good reason to move on.
I’m not too sure where the future will take me but I’m not afraid to explore. Although my race is a huge part of my identity, it certainly doesn’t mean that I should be the only one creating content on the topic. I hope that for this project someone else takes the reins and provides their thoughts on race/diversity. As for me? I’m going to keep my options open and look elsewhere.