Ryan Gosling. A blonde woman. An elevator. A man with a gun. What do these things have in common? They are all components of the violent yet lovely scene of the movie, Drive, that we watched for the class activity. I haven’t seen this film before, but the scene really stood out to me and reminded me what love feels like; the surreality of being alone with the love of your life and feeling as though nothing else exists. The head bashing, on the other hand, was a separate experience.
As Ryan Gosling sees the antagonist’s gun from a flash under his jacket, the camera slowly zooms in on his arm pushing his loved one to the wall. They engage in a passionate embrace, Ryan’s body language showing his hesitance to pull away. Despite his love for her, he knows that he must kill this man to protect her. He knows that the violent murder he will soon commit will prevent her from seeing him in the same way ever again, but his love for her is too strong not to protect her. The sublime can only be experienced alone, and being with someone you love so dearly still counts as being alone. The golden hue that surrounds Ryan and his blonde counterpart as the music slows exemplifies the final sublime feeling that radiates between two lovers, before he must say goodbye to her forever.
I was lucky enough to have fallen in love in high school; and while high school love is often seen as taboo or fake, I truly believe that I got to experience, true, deep, love, and I will forever be grateful for that. We took a break from our relationship since I moved to college, and I would do anything to be in his arms once again; to feel the love that radiated between us with a simple touch or hug or smile. Being alone with him gave me the same feeling that was exhibited in that scene; the feeling that there are no worries in the world, no tasks or requirements, no outside pressures or stresses.
Love isn’t perfect, and even I know that as a young, naive college student. Just like Ryan’s character knows in Drive, love can’t always last the way you want it to; and protecting those you love is often more important than them loving you back. This causes a world of hurt, of course, but knowing that those you value are safe often makes up for the pain. I know that he can be happy without me, and I wouldn’t want us to struggle through an unreliable relationship while knowing how much happier we would be if we had ended it. My heart will always miss him, but my head knows that I will find him again if it is meant to be.
And because the scene has no words spoken in it, I leave you with this quote, which I feel exemplifies what love really is:
“Such a wonderful thought to have, that we both managed to exist at exactly the same time. I will look for you in another life.”
Sincerely, Alex